Move over, flowers, chocolate and an Oklahoma fishing license — earlier this week, one Twitter user singlehandedly proved that all you *really* need to woo your crush this Valentine’s Day is store-bought pasta, an apron and the ability to bullshit like all hell.


On Tuesday, February 14, @shrimp_delight took to the platform to recount a secondhand tale of V-day success, detailing how their “old chef” seemingly managed to impress a love interest  — and bring a tear to the eyes of “work smarter, not harder” hustle porn dudebros — by expertly faking a home-cooked meal.



“My old chef told me that he used to invite a girl over, pick up some fresh pasta from the refrigerated section of the grocery store, then get out his rolling pin and sprinkle some flour on his apron right before opening the door,” they recalled in a post that has since garnered upwards of 1,000 likes. “Men will really stop at nothing”



Alongside evoking memories of fraudulent meats — “Remembering when a guy on here posted a Costco chicken and pretended he made it,” @shrimp_delight added in a subsequent tweet, noting that “his secret live-in gf told me she bought it for him so he wouldn’t starve” — the post sparked discussions of romance, men’s audacity and of course, tips on all the ways to up one’s bullshit pasta game.


Lies: The foundation of any great relationship … and pasta dinner!