Over in the soft-handed lands of Europe and Southeast Asia, they pamper their butts by cleaning them with water. However, here in America, we’re tougher. We know that the only true way to get our crack clean is scraping it down with some toilet paper.
But some people want to have it both ways. “I’m not going to ruin a Saturday by attempting to install a bidet by myself,” these people say, “but I’m also not going to dare to wipe my butt with dry paper.” What is this magical third option that they’re searching for, you ask? Why, flushable wipes, of course!
Hold on there, soldier. Are you sure that those flushable wipes are truly flushable? Because this guy isn’t.
— scallop girl (@pasta_niece) December 28, 2023
“FLUSHABLE WIPES ARE A MYTH!” the man’s car reads. “Unlike toilet paper which breaks apart in water, the woven fibers of sipes stay intact, eventually clogging pumps and wrapping around floats and level sensors.”
First of all, shoutout to you for being the most normal person to ever put so many words on their car (most of the car-writing I’m familiar with only talks about god and jerkin’ it). Second, this man is actually 100 percent correct. As The Guardian notes, flushable wipes have proven to be a huge problem for cities, contributing to a “15-ton lump of congealed grease” in London and $18 million in equipment problems in New York City.
We need more of this kind of passion on cars. Less political screeds and more practical life advice. https://t.co/NpVHqCyG9y
— ’ (@ass_beaters) December 28, 2023
I literally never thought I would see a message communicated in this format that would both educate me and that I would agree with https://t.co/OWbbhCElAx
— William B. Fuckley (@opinonhaver) December 28, 2023
Not surprisingly, some people speculated that he may have a personal stake in this issue.
look at that hi-viz, he's definitely a plumber. Do you know how many solid lumps of poop and wipes you have to clear before you're motivated to write out a list of how many letters you need from Home Depot for a paragraph? That man is a trooper. https://t.co/GaeAdefXiS
— Hard Normal Biden (@CORNPOPINNOCENT) December 28, 2023
when I was a plumber snaking flushable wipes was half our business https://t.co/DC1S5rHda1
— advanced apathy (@Tragedy_Andy) December 29, 2023
Regardless of his personal connection to the problem, he’s a hero for calling attention to the issue — and likely ruining his paint job in the process.
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