Though Penn State professor Themis Matsoukas may have infamously landed bestiality charges after getting it on with a dog, he still was in the mood for a whole lot of bark, finding himself in even more hot water after allegedly f—king a tree and a lollipop in a public park.

Less than a year after the chemical engineering professor was caught having sex with a dog in Rothrock State Forest, the Pennsylvania Department of Conservation and Natural Resources discovered this was far from an isolated incident.

According to an affidavit, officials discovered 55 videos filmed on Matsoukas’ iPad. Filmed around the time of his initial arrest in June 2023, these videos paint a harrowing picture, depicting the academic donning a ski mask and no pants while getting into some risky business.

Alongside jerking off onto various park items, including a picnic table and a watercraft, a few clips were a bit more concerning, showing him shoving a lollipop and a tree branch up his butt.

While his initial crime landed him an array of charges including sexual intercourse with an animal and cruelty to animals, he now faces a number of additional charges, including felony counts of burglary and criminal trespass as well as counts of indecent exposure, open lewdness and disorderly conduct.

As questions swirl surrounding his motive and what punishment he may face, one ask rises above the rest: How did he not get butt splinters?