Hang out on the Internet long enough, and you’ll come across some of the dumbest conspiracy theories you’ve ever heard.

For example, how do jets fly? No, this isn’t a roundabout way to say “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams,” but in that statement, you get the answer: fuel. Well, if you think that, you’re an idiot, says one Twitter/X user. It’s not jet fuel that’s propelling our jets — in fact, there’s no fuel at all!

According to this dude, we all just need to Google — wait, no, *research* — “jet fuel hoax.” I did that and it’s a load of B.S., but just in case you really wanted to know, these people say that jet engines compress air to the point that it combusts, no jet fuel required. Everything you’ve heard about jet fuel, then, is a lie.

Now, I understand the impulse to see a plane and think that something magical is happening there. They’re pretty cool, right? Unfortunately, there’s nothing supernatural going on here; it’s just a machine that runs on fuel that occasionally needs to be refilled with fuel.

But if you really want a debunking, let’s ignore the science for a second and just get to the practical maintenance of this conspiracy.

For this to be true, every single worker at every airline on Earth — including private carriers, major carriers, and largely isolated airlines like North Korea’s Air Koryo — would need to be engaged in a massive conspiracy to not only keep this ruse going, but actually buy real jet fuel to do so. No one’s going to believe that you use jet fuel if you don’t buy it, so you have to actually purchase it, then presumably just pour it into your local lakes or something.

After you’ve done this, all of the involved individuals need to hide their participation. And that means everyone — all 87+ million people in the airline industry. If even one person slips up, the whole plan is toast.

Yeah. Even in the illuminati, this would get you laughed out of the conference room.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news for these people, but jets really do use jet fuel. Now that that’s solved, you can go back to debating whatever other conspiracy theory is popular today — or hey, start a conspiracy of your own!