It’s an age-old question: Would you rather fight one giant ape (say, King Kong himself) or hundreds of smaller monkeys? Who do you think you’d have better odds against? Before you answer, bearing in mind that you’re not Godzilla, check out this video from Lopburi in Thailand where gangs of monkeys are fighting with each other, Sharks versus Jets style, in the streets.

The sheer number of monkeys on the road in these videos is crazy. Lopburi is already known for its monkeys — a quick Google Images search tells us as much, as does the fact the monkeys, macaques specifically, get their own annual feast festival every November. At this point, the denizens of Lopburi should probably just cede the city to the monkeys, who have clearly come to view themselves as godlike beings who cannot be contained.

That doesn’t mean local authorities aren’t trying, however. Police Major General Apirak Wechkanchana admitted, “I am aware of the potential danger from monkeys,” adding that they have “started to pose a threat to tourists and locals,” and revealing that police officers in Lopburi are now carrying slingshots. Their aim with the slingshots is to shoo, not kill — killing the animals their city is known for would be very bad for business.

Part of the problem is that monkeys, being fiendishly clever, have learned what tranquilizer guns look like and now run away whenever they see a cop brandishing one in an attempt to subdue the maniacal macaques. One officer explained, “We had to hide our faces and conceal the tranquilizer guns so the monkeys wouldn’t see them.”

Again, I have to wonder why they don’t just cede the city to the monkeys, who are clearly intelligent enough to run their own society. Back in 2020, a gang of monkeys from Lopburi took a two-hour train ride to Nakhon Sawan and back in order to find food and beef with the local monkeys there.

I’m hardly one to condone violence, but come on, this is an impressive display of dominance from these otherwise fairly harmless-looking primates. They seem more committed to streetfighting than Chun-Li herself, and far more intelligent than that dummy King Kong. I definitely wouldn’t want to cross these guys. That’s the kind of monkey business no one wants.