There was this really old guy at a dance who hadn't had any sex for a long time. He'd been dancing with the grandmas all night, but he still hadn't scored.

Frustrated, he approached an old grandma and said,"Listen, I'm having no luck scoring a woman. How about coming back to my place? I'll give you $20 if you oblige!

"I'm willing, let's go," she said. They arrived back at his place, and after a bit of foreplay, they headed for the bedroom. The old guy loved the sex and couldn't get over how tight the grandma was for such an old woman. Surely she's got to be a virgin.

After the wonderful performance, he rolled over and said,"Wow! Lady, if I had known you were a virgin, I would have given you $50".

Surprised, she replied, "If I had known you were actually going to get an erection, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"