16 Stupid But True News Stories

packmule2 Published 10/01/2014 in Funny

The news and the people it covers needs to work on their not-being-a-dummy skills

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1.
A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man called the police on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.
2.
A white supremacist wanted to turn a North Dakota town into a haven for racists, so he took a genetic heritage test on TV to prove his racial purity. He's 14% sub-Saharan African.
3.
Illerate
4.
Kim Kardashian held a charity auction for victims of the Philippines disaster and kept 90% of the revenue.
5.
The Army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended for sexual assault at a sexual assault conference.
6.
7.
Sarah Palin is disgusted with the commercialization of Christmas and wrote a book about it, which was made available for purchase just in time for the holidays.
8.
A woman fooled her boyfriend, family, and town into thinking she's pregnant. She was just fat.
9.
Nelson Mandela's sign language interpreter was a complete fraud who was "literally just flapping his arms around."
10.
11.
Walmart made more than $15.7b in profits last year and asked customers to donate to its underpaid employees.
12.
Justin Bieber once urinated in a restaurant kitchen, yelled, "F*** Bill Clinton!" and then ran away.
13.
Jar Jar Binks is officially more popular than Congress.
14.
CNN does a split screen, satellite interview on opposite ends of the parking lot.
15.
Polls show that most of Americans want to criminalize pre-teens playing without supervision. "I doubt there has ever been a human culture, anywhere, anytime, that underestimates children's abilities more than we North Americans do today,"
16.
A student went to a doctor's appointment and didn't show up to school. The school's receptionist called his phone, heard on his voice mail what she thought was a bomb threat, and called the police. The school was put on lockdown, and the boy was arrested. His "bomb threat" voice mail was the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.

1.
A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man called the police on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.
2.
A white supremacist wanted to turn a North Dakota town into a haven for racists, so he took a genetic heritage test on TV to prove his racial purity. He's 14% sub-Saharan African.
3.
Illerate
4.
Kim Kardashian held a charity auction for victims of the Philippines disaster and kept 90% of the revenue.
5.
The Army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended for sexual assault at a sexual assault conference.
6.
7.
Sarah Palin is disgusted with the commercialization of Christmas and wrote a book about it, which was made available for purchase just in time for the holidays.
8.
A woman fooled her boyfriend, family, and town into thinking she's pregnant. She was just fat.
9.
Nelson Mandela's sign language interpreter was a complete fraud who was "literally just flapping his arms around."
10.
11.
Walmart made more than $15.7b in profits last year and asked customers to donate to its underpaid employees.
12.
Justin Bieber once urinated in a restaurant kitchen, yelled, "F*** Bill Clinton!" and then ran away.
13.
Jar Jar Binks is officially more popular than Congress.
14.
CNN does a split screen, satellite interview on opposite ends of the parking lot.
15.
Polls show that most of Americans want to criminalize pre-teens playing without supervision. "I doubt there has ever been a human culture, anywhere, anytime, that underestimates children's abilities more than we North Americans do today,"
16.
A student went to a doctor's appointment and didn't show up to school. The school's receptionist called his phone, heard on his voice mail what she thought was a bomb threat, and called the police. The school was put on lockdown, and the boy was arrested. His "bomb threat" voice mail was the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.

A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law</a> that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man <a href="http://ebaum.it/1wV3sLo" target="_blank">called the police</a> on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.

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A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man called the police on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.

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16 Stupid But True News Stories

1.
A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man called the police on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.

2.
A white supremacist wanted to turn a North Dakota town into a haven for racists, so he took a genetic heritage test on TV to prove his racial purity. He's 14% sub-Saharan African.

3.
Illerate

4.
Kim Kardashian held a charity auction for victims of the Philippines disaster and kept 90% of the revenue.

5.
The Army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended for sexual assault at a sexual assault conference.

6.

7.
Sarah Palin is disgusted with the commercialization of Christmas and wrote a book about it, which was made available for purchase just in time for the holidays.

8.
A woman fooled her boyfriend, family, and town into thinking she's pregnant. She was just fat.

9.
Nelson Mandela's sign language interpreter was a complete fraud who was "literally just flapping his arms around."

10.

11.
Walmart made more than $15.7b in profits last year and asked customers to donate to its underpaid employees.

12.
Justin Bieber once urinated in a restaurant kitchen, yelled, "F*** Bill Clinton!" and then ran away.

13.
Jar Jar Binks is officially more popular than Congress.

14.
CNN does a split screen, satellite interview on opposite ends of the parking lot.

15.
Polls show that most of Americans want to criminalize pre-teens playing without supervision. "I doubt there has ever been a human culture, anywhere, anytime, that underestimates children's abilities more than we North Americans do today,"

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69 Comments

eBaum's Picks

1. A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man called the police on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.

2. A white supremacist wanted to turn a North Dakota town into a haven for racists, so he took a genetic heritage test on TV to prove his racial purity. He's 14% sub-Saharan African.

3. Illerate

4. Kim Kardashian held a charity auction for victims of the Philippines disaster and kept 90% of the revenue.

5. The Army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended for sexual assault at a sexual assault conference.

6.

7. Sarah Palin is disgusted with the commercialization of Christmas and wrote a book about it, which was made available for purchase just in time for the holidays.

8. A woman fooled her boyfriend, family, and town into thinking she's pregnant. She was just fat.

9. Nelson Mandela's sign language interpreter was a complete fraud who was "literally just flapping his arms around."

10.

11. Walmart made more than $15.7b in profits last year and asked customers to donate to its underpaid employees.

12. Justin Bieber once urinated in a restaurant kitchen, yelled, "F*** Bill Clinton!" and then ran away.

13. Jar Jar Binks is officially more popular than Congress.

14. CNN does a split screen, satellite interview on opposite ends of the parking lot.

15. Polls show that most of Americans want to criminalize pre-teens playing without supervision. "I doubt there has ever been a human culture, anywhere, anytime, that underestimates children's abilities more than we North Americans do today,"

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

Share This Image

69 Comments

eBaum's Picks

1.
A Florida town passed an anti-homeless law that prohibited lying in parks. A homeless man called the police on a family having a picnic. The family was escorted away.

2.
A white supremacist wanted to turn a North Dakota town into a haven for racists, so he took a genetic heritage test on TV to prove his racial purity. He's 14% sub-Saharan African.

3.
Illerate

4.
Kim Kardashian held a charity auction for victims of the Philippines disaster and kept 90% of the revenue.

5.
The Army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended for sexual assault at a sexual assault conference.

7.
Sarah Palin is disgusted with the commercialization of Christmas and wrote a book about it, which was made available for purchase just in time for the holidays.

8.
A woman fooled her boyfriend, family, and town into thinking she's pregnant. She was just fat.

9.
Nelson Mandela's sign language interpreter was a complete fraud who was "literally just flapping his arms around."

11.
Walmart made more than $15.7b in profits last year and asked customers to donate to its underpaid employees.

12.
Justin Bieber once urinated in a restaurant kitchen, yelled, "F*** Bill Clinton!" and then ran away.

13.
Jar Jar Binks is officially more popular than Congress.

14.
CNN does a split screen, satellite interview on opposite ends of the parking lot.

15.
Polls show that most of Americans want to criminalize pre-teens playing without supervision. "I doubt there has ever been a human culture, anywhere, anytime, that underestimates children's abilities more than we North Americans do today,"