The Prison Industry: “Most of the money the prison system makes is not from the tax dollars but from inmates families or women they trick into sending them money. Commissary, Phone calls, Email, etc… Are a huge money maker.”

Police work: “TV cop dramas are absurd on every level, but on the subject of lost or destroyed evidence, they may actually undersell how pervasive it is. It happens all. the. time.” The officer goes on to say… “Make copies. Record whatever you’re allowed to (and take time to understand the laws yourself to know just what your rights are in this respect). Make sure there is SOME record of any evidence you’ve given police, whenever it’s at all safe or appropriate to do so, as long as it doesn’t compromise the integrity of the evidence itself.”

The hotel industry: “At our hotel we had free basic WiFi. If the guest wanted faster Wi-Fi they could pay a small fee and be able to access our special “deluxe” Wi-Fi. There was no difference. It was all the same speed.”

Medical/Recreational Marijuana: “An unfortunately high percentage of cannabis that makes it to the point of sale in both the medical and recreational industry has significant traces of mold and pesticides (some even banned by the state). Some of this is from my personal experience, but some cases have been looked at by journalists.”

The IT Field: “Many IT issues really can be solved with ‘have you tried turning it off and back on again?’ People constantly joke about this but easily a third of our tickets wouldn’t need assistance if people would just try this before calling in. Or hey, call in and lie about it, Nancy, because I can easily check uptime and see your computer’s been on for 23 days and that’s just Jon security for me.”

From The Pizza Place: “If you order a cheese pizza with nothing else, it always comes with extra cheese. If you order extra cheese you will be charged for it, but get the same pizza. Most pizza places use a conveyer oven and the pizza will burn without the extra cheese. This does not apply to higher end brick oven places.”

The Adult Entertainment Industry: “The pole spins, not the stripper!”

Overseas Manufacturing: “Our chinese manufacturers will be more than willing to supply us with a certificate assuring us and our clients that the cardboard and paper packaging for our new line of electronics is 100% recycled and eco friendly. 1000% Bullshit.”

Why textbooks are overpriced: “This is true of academia in general but you have no idea how much money textbook companies spend on wooing professors. Just to give a couple examples: the last time I went to the big conference in my field, which was held in Atlanta that year, Bedford-St. Martin rented out the Atlanta Braves stadium, bused everyone at the conference there (about two thousand people), gave us a free buffet that stretched through three rooms (we were up in the box seats) with an open bar and they opened up all the games in the back hallways for us to play. Pearson’s party was far more modest: they rented out the Coke museum, gave us all free tours and their free buffet only stretched through one freaking room (but with much classier food) but still had an open bar. Just in case you were wondering why those textbooks of yours are so expensive.”

Real Estate/Mortgage: 1. “If you’re being foreclosed upon and can afford an attorney, fight it. The number of foreclosures that could have been invalidated if the borrower did something (as opposed to not showing up at all, which is what most do) is higher than one would think. 2. If you refinance, sell your house, or pay off your mortgage, get a copy of your lien release (preferably the recorded one). I can’t tell you how many phone calls I get where a sale is being held up because a lien release was never prepared.”

Rodent control: “There are so many mice and/or rats in and around grocery stores. We are required by law to take measure to control the population and dispose of contaminated products, but short of a full blown infestation no store is going to be shut down for having mice.”

Hollywood effects: “I work in visual effects for large Hollywood movies. We do so much digital cleanup and enhancement of practical effects, yet get no credit for how it looks. We only get shit on when a director or studio forces us to make cartoony CG characters or un-photorealistic backgrounds. We’re the only department that doesn’t have a union, yet we’re in charge of upwards of half the movie’s budget. Life of Pi was shot mostly on green screen, yet the cinematographer got an Oscar, even though most of those shots were created later in VFX without his input.”

Buying a car: “Never negotiate the payment. Often times we move the numbers around to favor us. We will negotiate your trade in. The price of the car. The interest rate. Dealer installed options.” They go on to say… “Walk out. Seriously. Never buy the car the day you go to look at it. Chances are I’m going to yell at my sales guy to call you and offer you a lower price to get you back in.”

Valet all day: “Will drive your personal car gently. Rentals, will try to get air on speed bumps. Also, (at least at my location ) we’re not gonna look through your shit. I don’t care what’s in your glove box, although I will judge you if your car smells like garbage or farts.”

The funeral industry: “That casket has a huge markup and it is illegal for a funeral home to not let you source your own casket. In my area Amish make them and their prices run from reasonable to unreasonable. And here’s another tip – Walmart sells caskets. They are still slightly overpriced but usually better than what your director is probably selling. Shop your casket options.”

All of the lights: “If you’re a band and rent a light for more than an 18 week tour, you basically paid the full retail price of that light for us, and we continue to rent it out making profits off of it for years.”

Fast Food Management: “I’m only supposed to put six olives on your Footlong. You all deserve to know.”