25 Hilarious Entries On Urban Dictionary That Will Change The Way You Speak
Nathan Johnson
Published
06/27/2016
in
wtf
Yes, there are people out there who have thought of the perfect words to describe your misery.
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1.
Chuddin DEFINITION: A Chuddin is a small, chubby and funny-looking person who always has greasy fingers from eating Doritos. -
2.
Automagically DEFINITION: Something that happens automatically, but that also has some mysterious, "magical" element to it. "Smart" appliances, features, etc. that do intelligent things with less help than you might expect. -
3.
Chairdrobe DEFINITION: The art of piling clothes on a chair to be used in place of a closet or dresser. If a chair is not available one can always defer to a floordrobe. -
4.
Dracula Sneeze DEFINITION: Holding your arm up over your face in a position similar to Dracula holding up his cape and then sneezing into you elbow. -
5.
Curb Shame DEFINITION: Embarrassment at waiting on the curb obediently as other pedestrians ignore the "don't walk" signal in the absence of traffic. -
6.
"Come meet my cat..." DEFINITION: Please have sex with me. -
7.
Girlfriend Voice DEFINITION: The change in pitch or tone of a man's voice when talking to their significant other. The girlfriend voice is characterized by a higher pitch and a more effeminate tone with speech patterns scattered with pet names and childish words. This type of speech is usually frowned upon when used in the presence of other men. When another man uses this voice they will usually receive a fair amount of ridicule. -
8.
Fall Back Program DEFINITION: The show that you watch while your main show is at a commercial. It is usually not as good as your main show. -
9.
Oneitis DEFINITION: Often confused with love, this is the feeling that a particular woman is actually special. This is just an illusion; she is the same as the other three or so billion. "Go fuck ten other women" is the most commonly prescribed treatment for this "disease" (hence the "itis"), as it tends to show quite quickly how very alike people are. In other words, get over yourself and your obsession with that girl, because it's just an illusion. And when you get rejected, don't be depressed. Because there's really not much to worry about. -
10.
Dish Envy DEFINITION: Sudden, intense longing and regret derived from watching a particularly appetizing dish being delivered to a nearby table, and realizing that one has made an inferior menu selection. -
11.
Nonversation DEFINITION: A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events where meaningful conversation is nearly impossible. -
12.
Social Notworking DEFINITION: The practice of spending time unproductively on social-networking websites, especially when one should be working. -
13.
Social Fruitfly DEFINITION: Like a social butterfly, without any charm or beauty. An unwanted pest. -
14.
Hashtag Abuser DEFINITION: When you overuse the hashtag symbol, especially on non-Twitter/Instagram apps. Includes having more hashtags than words in your post, adding the prefix "insta" to everything, tagging things that aren't really related, and making hashtags longer than sentences. -
15.
Cheappuccino DEFINITION: Any of the wide variety of flavored coffee drinks offered at convenience stores such as Circle K or 7 Eleven that can be purchased for less than half the price of a Starbucks cappuccino. -
16.
Pornocchio DEFINITION: A person who embellishes their sexcapades to sound cooler. -
17.
Degifting DEFINITION: 1. A mutual agreement to suspend holiday gifts for at least one season, usually within a single family or circle of friends. 2. The act of replacing useless and pointless merchandise with something more meaningful, such as a charitable donation, service project or holiday party. 3. Wal-Mart's biggest nightmare. -
18.
Keyboard Warrior DEFINITION: 1. A Person who, being unable to express his anger through physical violence (owning to their physical weakness, lack of bravery and/or conviction in real life), instead manifests said emotions through the text-based medium of the internet, usually in the form of aggressive writing that the Keyboard Warrior would not (for reasons previously mentioned) be able to give form to in real life. 2. The term is a combination of the word 'keyboard' (the main tool by which the person expresses his/her latent rage) and 'warrior' (due to the warrior-like aggression, tendency towards violence, headstrong nature and propensity towards brute force as a means of resolving conflict rather than more subtle means dependant on finesse). 3. The Keyboard Warrior seeks to use the power imbued in his 'weapon' to effect death and destruction (in a strictly-metaphorical sense) upon his foes (other virtual identities he has encountered on the internet). In essence, the keyboard (ie. text input ability) allows the keyboard warrior to manifest his true warrior nature in a safe and removed environment, from which no real-life repercussions. 4. Keyboard Warriors are generally identified by unneccessary rage in their written communications, and are regarded as 'losers' by other virtual identities on the internet. -
19.
Microwave Minute DEFINITION: When time slows down while waiting for you food to heat in the microwave. Known side effects are increased hunger, slowing of all the clocks in your house and walking around aimlessly trying to kill time. The microwave minute has the ability to slow time turning one minute into what feels lime an hour. -
20.
Mascary DEFINITION: When a person wears a scary amount of mascara. -
21.
Facebook Minute DEFINITION: An elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages. -
22.
Store D'oeuvres DEFINITION: Snacks and food samples that a grocery store will serve at various locations in order to tempt the patrons into buying something they weren't planning on (pizza, chips and dip, sausage, etc.). Usually happens on the weekend. -
23.
Verbal Handcuffs DEFINITION: When someone won't stop talking (usually about a subject you have no interest in). The talker has verbally forced you to stand there there and listen, even though you have given many clues that you have checked out. Examples: vacant stares, looking at your watch, checking your phone, answering in short one word phrases. -
24.
The Book Off DEFINITION: The act of getting a book out on the train, tube bus or plane in order to avoid talking to the person next to you. Substitutes include a newspaper, phone or iPod. -
25.
Pluto Booty DEFINITION: When a girl has a butt that is so small, that some consider it nonexistent.
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