36 Odd Habits That Prove Humans Are Weird Creatures
buttlouver
Published
12/20/2014
Be happy in the knowledge that you're a strange person, just like everyone else.
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1.
Hearing the doorbell ring and crawling around your house like a ninja, then peering out windows to see whos there without them knowing that youre home. -
2.
Looking at a Q-tip after pulling it out of your ear to proudly judge how much wax you swabbed out. -
3.
Realizing you haven't been paying attention to what you're reading and deciding if it's worth going back. -
4.
Saving plastic bags out of principal, even though you'll never use them again. -
5.
Checking the fridge periodically, even though no new snacks will have materialized in the two minutes since you last checked. -
6.
Creating a sick beat by drumming your fingers on the table and wondering how you haven't already been discovered by a legendary rock band. -
7.
Smiling at dogs when you walk past without acknowledging their owners. -
8.
Wondering what would happen if you punched someone in the face mid-conversation. -
9.
Sticking your loose hairs to the walls of the shower and then splashing them off. -
10.
Deciding that 3:00 a.m. is a wonderful time to judge yourself for that embarrassing thing you said in school 10 years ago. -
11.
Bumping into another person and saying, Sorry. Bumping into your pets, begging for forgiveness and praying that they still love you. -
12.
Swearing that you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, and secretly feeling a bit crazy because it didn't. -
13.
Bumping into another person and saying, Sorry. Bumping into your pets, begging for forgiveness and praying that they still love you. -
14.
Waking up bright and cheery a few minutes before your alarm sounds, but going back to sleep anyways knowing that you will feel like death when it finally does go off. -
15.
Touching the plate even when the waiter says it's extremely hot, because you have trust issues and have to see for yourself. -
16.
Breaking into interpretive dance after walking into a spider web. -
17.
Breaking into interpretive dance after walking into a spider web. -
18.
Eating most of the cake mixture before it finds its way into the oven. -
19.
Closing the door when you poop even when nobody else is home. -
20.
Feeling absolutely terrified when you're using a public bathroom and someone jiggles the door knob, even though you know that you locked it. -
21.
Sleeping with at least one leg under the covers so you don't feel exposed, even on the hottest nights. -
22.
Becoming an evil witch if given the proper snack. -
23.
Spending a long time checking out how you look from other people's perspectives whenever you encounter a corner mirror. -
24.
Becoming an evil witch if given the proper snack. -
25.
Thinking of other cars as travel companions when on a road trip, and feeling a tinge of sadness when you exit the motorway. -
26.
Unconsciously thinking that the 90s was 10 years ago. -
27.
Immediately going back and reading an email right after you hit send. -
28.
Taking an inferior parking spot and walking further rather than coping with the stress of slotting in between two cars. -
29.
Spelling out Wednesday like Wed-nes-day in your head when you're writing it. Same story with Feb-ru-ary, every time! -
30.
Pacing around your entire house and balancing on places you've never balanced on before whenever a long phone call presents itself. -
31.
Procrastinating when getting into the shower, but getting out once youre in is one of the hardest things youll ever do. -
32.
When in a store where you're not planning on buying anything, you start to get paranoid that security thinks you're a shoplifter. You overcompensate for this paranoia by relaxing your shoulders and acting like you're in Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas. -
33.
Enjoying the impending feeling before a storm hits... It makes you feel alive. -
34.
Rehearsing arguments again and again in your head, just in case it should ever come up. -
35.
Finding the perfect TV show to watch before eating the food you've prepared for yourself, even though its starting to get cold. -
36.
Stopping the microwave when it still has one second to go so you can pretend you're defusing a bomb. -
37.
Feeling weird and uncomfortable each and every time you have to say your own name. -
38.
Being totally relieved when you get home and nobody is there. -
39.
Getting nervous about whether your hairdresser will try and engage you in small talk or not. -
40.
Stopping the microwave when it still has one second to go so you can pretend you're defusing a bomb. -
41.
Wiping your mobile phone screen to make all the smudge marks go in the same direction. -
42.
Putting your iPod on shuffle but skipping every track after a couple of seconds constantly for the next half an hour. -
43.
Immediately forgetting someone's name the second after being introduced to them. -
44.
Feeling sympathy towards inanimate objects when they're underused or discarded. -
45.
Hating when books are adapted to movies and they start using the movie imagery as the front cover of the book.
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