2025 could’ve been the first year we stopped being idiots but instead they made soup into a candy.

Based on the news that’s already come out since January 1st, human evolution is still slow as hell. A woman got arrested with a bag of drugs that said “Definitely not a bag full of drugs,” there’s something out there called “Fartcoin,” and dumbest of all, Josh Gad thought he would be in Avatar. Come on, man. Those blue aliens do flips and have sex, be realistic.

Here are some headlines that will make you want to leave the planet.