Tucker Sighs With Disgust Over Having to Cover the 'Woke M&Ms' Drama

Tucker Carlson and Fox News are once again trying to unwrap the lore around the sexuality of M&Ms, as part of their farcical cultural war. Recently put off by the announcement of a "female only" M&M bag, in this clip, Tucker rants about an old tweet and has a brief moment approaching self-awareness.

The tweet Carlson is referencing is actually this tweet posted two days after the supreme court legalized gay marriage in 2015, hinting at a relationship between the green and brown M&Ms. This is old news, hence why their boots look the way they do. The "plus-sized" M&M Carlson criticizes is also just the peanut M&M. What is she supposed to look like? The standard M&Ms are quite round themselves. Fox News needs a thorough brush-up on their M&M lore.

If Fox News really wanted to criticize Mars, Incorporated's campaign, they could talk about how it's used to cover up allegations that the company exploits child slave labor, and that their candy contains unsafe lead content; but that's never what this was about. At the end of the clip, Carlson almost appears to realize that misrepresenting an eight-year-old tweet containing two fictional "spokes candies" to further re-direct hate away from real issues is not what he thought he'd be doing with his life, but unfortunately, like most of us eating our bags of candy, he's already in too deep.

Oh, and Nick Adams is still an idiot.
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